I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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