Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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