Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
