a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
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Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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