That's intense
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
