hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I didn't shave. On purpose
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
