What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
