it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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