Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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