you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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