so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
