Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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