I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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