he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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