girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
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I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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