i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
