You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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