i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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