do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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