He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
