This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this just has baby written all over it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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