she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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