I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
