yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
