Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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