I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
