rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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