She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
