You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
