I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize