I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
do herpes really smell.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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