I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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