It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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