Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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