Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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