you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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