spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
