u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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