He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I got inside last night via doggy door
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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