does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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