Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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