he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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