His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
