If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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