There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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