Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
