Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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