My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
