Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
