sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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