That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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