Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if only i could text you this smell
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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