I CAN MOONWALK!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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