i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate all girls vehemently.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
