Swine flu. Run for my life!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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