Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
