I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize