Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
