Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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