I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
