If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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